I was proud to fight under your command - to fight to defend the innocent, be they Elorii or Human.
When you spoke to rally the troops - not just your own Elorii forces, but also the coalition of other races that had rallied to you banner, I sensed that you were not in your element... that leading men and women into battle strained you so. I wanted to help you... I should have offered that help... but I did not, because I feared it was not my place... that offering camaraderie and pretty words might have insulted you and your noble people. In retrospect, that I did not offer those things shames me and is one of my few true regrets of my existence.
I wanted to say to all present that you did not stand alone - that your people did not stand alone. I wanted to remind my own people that we owe yours a great debt we have never repaid... that we can never repay - a debt stemming from an ancient act so terrible that even Illiir wept and turned his face from what he had ordered - knowing it to be wrong even as he spoke the words. I wanted to stand up and remind all those humans present that it is our duty to stand against such a tide of evil as threatened Seremas, and beyond that... I wanted to say that we have a divine mandate to repay the sins of our Lords - both to honor your people's loss and to remember that Illiir wept for that loss... I wanted to remind my people that in spite of all we had done to them, noble Elorii heroes helped us save humanity when the mad Valinor Manetas threatened to bring our people low... that it was our turn then to prove that we can be better, to prove that we can start working to deserve that forgiveness of past sins that we have so often asked for but so seldom tried to earn... I wanted to stand by your side and say all these things so that your people - hurt so greatly in so few months - would know that the other free peoples of Onara stood with them then in solidarity against the forces of evil arrayed before us... that there is yet hope for the Life Warden Meliros' dream of healing the rift between our peoples.
I wanted to say a lot of things.
That I didn't... I expect I shall remember that failing for many centuries to come - but should I ever have the chance again in the future, I shall hope to correct that failing.
For now, I hope that you can forgive me for letting you stand alone while I held my tongue... that you can forgive me for offering my blade to your banner but nothing more even when I saw the need. For now, all I can offer are these pretty words - worthless though they may be... and my blade. You shall always have my blade, General, so long as I still have an arm to wield it and you have nobility in your heart. I swear it by all my people's Gods.
- Ser Adelheidis Sigrid val'Tensen of Moratavia, Defender of Seremas in the battles of 1029ic and 1075ic both
|